


Zinnias

by roswyrm



Series: you could build a garden [2]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, M/M, OW, Possible Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 19:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16708567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roswyrm/pseuds/roswyrm
Summary: Zinnia- an absent friend; daily remembrance; lasting affection





	Zinnias

**Author's Note:**

> True ending. That doesn't make it any happier. Working Title: _I Feel Like This Is What Good Things Look Like_

Zolf folds up the letter to Sasha and shoves it into the hotel drawer. And it's fine, everything is _fine,_ he isn't lonely. He doesn't regret leaving. He doesn't want to go back. He doesn't care if he never sees his ex-employees again.

(He does care. He wants to see Sasha learn about new cities and smile when she buys something for herself. He wants to see Hamid light up when he talks about his time in Prague or Cairo and drag Sasha and him along for sightseeing.)

Zolf's filled up the waste bin with rough drafts and little yellow petals. He's not going to send any of these letters, rough draft or no, and he's not going to think about the flowers. 

(He can't stop thinking about the flowers. Will they go away now that Hamid isn't in his life anymore? Will they kill him faster? Will he have to get surgery for them anyway?)

The way Zolf left was fine. He's not going to feel bad about it; he knows Sasha will find something. She's resourceful; she'll figure out a way to keep herself healthy.

(No one else knows, and Sasha was afraid of what would happen to her. She snapped at Zolf because it was a better option than thinking about what he was saying. Zolf knows how to read people. He knows how to read _her._ He doesn't know what she'll do without his magic. He doesn't know what he'll do if she's not okay.)

Hamid made a big deal out of it all, but he's better off with Zolf out of the party. Zolf could have hurt someone, and it's safer if he's gone.

(The yellow and red flowers aren't covered in blood. Zolf can almost pretend they're on the desk because they look nice and not because he's dying. He wants to go back and redo things; he wishes he had properly hugged Hamid before he left.)

Zolf coughs, and then he doesn't because there's no air left in his lungs. The roots don't let him breathe anymore, but it always passes after a few too many seconds of panic. 

(He doesn't panic when it happens anymore. Either this fit kills him, or it doesn't. Not much he can do about it either way.)

More and red-and-pink blooms claw their way out, and Zolf's never coughed up the same flower with different colourings before. Or, at least, not so close together.

(He wants to cry. That'd be disastrous. Hiccup-y shaking sobs don't mix well with deformed lungs. He knows from personal experience. He broke down in anger and frustration and exhaustion with Hamid leaned up against his door and he'd almost suffocated.)

 _Dear Hamid,_ he writes. He scratches it out. _Hey,_ he tries, but that's even worse. _How are you?_ and then he tears the paper to shreds.

~~_I'm sorry_ ~~  
~~_Are you okay?_ ~~  
~~_I miss you so, so much and I wish_ ~~  
~~_These flowers seem to think I love you and I'm beginning to think they're right_ ~~

He tries to go to sleep.

(If he doesn't lay down right, the petals block off his airway.)

He's fine.

(Everything hurts so much and he'd give anything for Hamid to be here even if only so getting rejected would kill him faster.)

Everything's _fine._

**Author's Note:**

> have y'all enjoyed the fluff i've written before this? bc i think all i'm gonna be writing is Angst for like, a while now. sorry. im still on tumblr @roswell-the-wrongdoer or y'know i am as i write this. who knows maybe i'll get deleted in Tumblr's Great Thanos Snap Of 2k18.


End file.
